i went back to TP today cause there was a mini celebration with my ex colleguea. i bake for them a small cake. so was just looking around sch and had a glimse at the open house bag.
some errands to finish also.

i feel so good!!
because danker wished me good luck!!! hehe.
and he shaked my hands and looked at me eye to eye babe.
yes.hahaha
danker andrian danker did that.

haha its funny. something is very funny..
when i want to exercise
i have to find motivation
its not easy ok. going jogging swimming and climbling stairs alone.
its not that fun eh.
i need motivation. lots of it.
at times when i just feel helpless.
i feel like quiting it altogether.
just eat be lazy and fuck it. be like me last time.
then i know i need to find new motivation.
and at times i hate something.
even when i gain abit ok. really like 1.5kg, it is obvious. wat the hell.

my initial stage of motivation used to be anger.
i felt angry at somebody. even when i run i tell u, its not that im sweating because im tired, i sweat because i was angry. really. i remember how angry and furious i was.
then at the same time when i was working at childcare, there are kids who will directly ask
why am i so fat? thanks eh. everytime i run, i will imagine him asking me that qn. hahah.
.
.
..
.
.
i have few more which i wont say it all. unless if asked.
and now. new source of motivation babe.
i will share it. but mayb some will be going wat the hell.
i will listen this song again and again before jogging or exercising and look at the girl. not the singer, the dancer like that. who is wearing white then orange and then blue.i like her curves, especially when she is wearing orange. so nice rite.
<

i understand i was and am still fat ok.
i cant be boney that type. and i cant be small. cause my build and bone structure is big.