i was at home most of the time this week
other from the reason of being sick
my sch if officialy closed till oct.
tat means i only have to go back to sch to finish my pro
i am planning to chiong and finish it by 3 weeks
so the other time i can have my holidays.
not that i have anything to do during the holidays
but just want to finish it asap.

well while at home
i was always lonely
nobody to talk to
always feeling empty and miserable.
im not so chatty.
especially being at home when im sick'

while being alone
i think alot.

i will graguate soon. in few months time, with gods permission
then wat will i be doing?
when can i start with my next education?
do i have to work first ?
can i really persue my real intention and dream of being a physotherapist?
when can i catch my dream of travelling
somehow independent, adventurous and bagpack travelling appeals to me
i really would love to do it.
well questions after questions.

i woke up on sat at 4+
everybody was still sleeping
something was on my mind
while weeping to myself i was thinking of this
if somehow 1 day
nobody is on my side to help me when i need them
pointing the responsiblity to another party
all not wanting to take the risk
doubting abt the bonds
be it the friendship family or wat not
when i am left alone
fragile vulnerable sick weak
who can i actually seek help from
i began weep alittle more
i head to the toilet to bath
washed everything with
icy cold water. from my hair till my toes
came out and lie of the sofa
i cross my fingers
felt something
i suddenly felt 'it'
the energy foaming towards me
when there is nobody left
not even a sole to help
dont forget
there is god
when i have no body to turn to when im sick
dont dismiss the idea of turning to god
when i feel that all the ppl are turing their back towards me
there is 1 who will take care of me
with this i slowly slept with a peace mind.
god will be there when least expect that he is there for u